Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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