just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
