if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
