I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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