I think i peed on brittanys purse
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Randomize
