just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Randomize
