I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Randomize
