so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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