Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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