Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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