Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
