you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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