I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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