Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
