Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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