Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
