Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
so let's talk penis.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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