AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
