I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
