Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
