I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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