I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
