for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
he fucked my hip out of place.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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