Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
