For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize
