They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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