I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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