I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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