..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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