sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
