i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
