You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
