C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
