WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
