Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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