For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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