What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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