Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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