called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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