I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
