i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Shame - the story of my life.
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