i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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