so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
