in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
40s are totally the cure
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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