Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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