Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
