Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
