I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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