So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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