Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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