porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
