Im at strip club and am horny
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
